Christmas

You guys ready for Christmas its going to be a sad one for me an my wife, are boy turned 18 the 10th of Nov. 3days after his Birthday he went an got a tattoo I 'm not good with tattoos but that's another story anyway about a week after that he came in the house an started saiding he was 18 an he would do what he wanted to do, we told him that as long as he was under are roof he would follow the rules he does not want know one telling him what to do we said that know matter where you go they are always rules. So he got mad and packed some clothes an left he moved in with his 15 year old girlfriend his going to be in big trouble we have told him but he says his 18. I told him ok don't call me our his mother for help when he goes to jail. Are we wrong?We don't want nothing to happen to him but he says his 18 please help me an my wife pray that him that he comes home before. I'm sorry but I needed to write this, guys be good to your kids but do not spoil them we did now look , he thinks will pull his fat out of the fire but that's not going to happen .I think we have rised him right he knows better,he has broke our hearts. I hope he grows up before its to late sorry to keep taking I'll stop now

Sorry to hear you all are having a bad time. Sometimes being a parent means making the tuff choices. Prayers sent to you and your family.

Sorry to hear this. You are not wrong in how you feel. My wife and I went through the same thing almost two years ago with a girl we adopted. still feeling the sting. Only when she left she tried to ruin us by spreading lies and causing splits in the family. We still have close family members who will not speak to my wife and I. It hurts, but you have to stick to your guns. Prayers going up for you all! We are a family of sorts here as well, although one that might be a little off. No apologies needed. If you need a friendly ear just pm me and I'll send you my number. Again prayers for healing, understanding, and peace for you and yours my friend.

Rough hearing this. I have been through it. Not much you can do other than try to give him advice and leave it at that. I'm a control freak when it comes to my family. I found out the hard way that your kids are going to do what they want when they are at that age. My oldest is just now starting to come back around me. Why? I keep my mouth shut. He knows right from wrong and did everything against what I tried to get him to do. He dropped out of collage, married some girl with 2 kids and now have one of their own. You did what you had to do and that is raise him. He knows right from wrong you just have to let him make his own mistakes and learn from them . try not to say anything that will push him further away from you. It's hard to get them back.

Prayer sent my friend for you and your wife and one for him.

This really hits home here.

I'll tell you this thin try to stop. A few years ago I was ready to bang my head into a wall dealing with my oldest. I sucked it up and called my mom. I told her what was going on and for the first time in my life I ask her what I should do. It was really silent for a while and then she ask why I was asking her. I told her she raised 3 great kids and she should be able to enlighten me. She didn't say a word for a long time. When she did she said something I would have never thought. She said she didn't know anything about raising kids. She raised 3 kids and did the best she could but each one was different and when you think you have it figured out you don't. You just do the best you can and hope for the best.
While she thinks she didn't help me at all that day it helped me more than she will ever know. We just do what we can and hope for the best. There is no right way. What works for one won't work for others. Pray and leave in in Gods hand my friend. Be blessed you have him even though he's not perfect. Let him know you love him even though he's not doing what is right.

Thanks guys, I just needed to know we're not the only ones that have gone through this it sure does hurt. Reb your last post helped a lot. We'll be praying for your kids an yours to 911tazz an all that are going or been through this GOD bless everyone for you, have a great weekend talk to you guys later..........

oldman, my family will keep your family in our thoughts and prayers. I am not scared of much. On the other hand, my son is only five years old, yet parenting scares me. It is constantly a futile exercise between attempting to be friends and build a trusting relationship, yet being a disciplinarian. I believe that Reb Stew said it best, you have to do your best and pray for the rest.

This post got to me the other night. I called Corey out of the blue and told him I loved him. He thought something was wrong. He kept asking. I told him there was nothing wrong I was just thinking about him and wanted to tell him I loved him. It was kind of funny because he thought something crazy had happened.
I have done many things in my life. I have said this before but I truly feel I have lived the life of 3 men in my short time on earth. I have done a lot. I can tell you that raising kids and being a good parent is by far the hardest thing I have ever worked at.

Oldman I am sorry to hear that you and the missus are having heavy hearts especially this time of year. It's always a tough time for many families big and small. I will add you to my prayer list and I think the advice Steve gave you is pretty spot-on. My 5 year old is awfully independent and he's the opposite of me in many ways...and it makes for some buttin' of the heads between us. But he's a good boy and above that he's MY boy. And I have to learn to respect his space and place even as he is just a young child. Every day is a new day for us more often than not. You do your best and just be supportive the best you know how.

Sincerely,

Lee

I am sorry to hear, I have seen this in my own family. From my older sister getting pregnant at 18 and still living at home to her own son, that only child she had, dis-owing his entire family a couple yrs ago over money issues, including my mom, his grandma. That hurts me more than him not talking to me. I just have to look at it as his mom made mistakes and he is a grown man at 38 yrs old and makes his own decisions whether we agree or not.

I currently have a 17 yr old, good kid, hard worker, but he is trying to stretch his wings a little. I have told him the same thing that as long as he lives under our roof, there are still rules to live by. I just pray he holds those values we have raised him with as he gets older. I know bird will fly his own way someday.

Proverbs 22:6 in the Bible that states "train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
That scripture is primarily talking about raising a child inthe way s of the lord and the Bible, but it still spllies to everything you give to your child as far as integrity, morals, values, honesty, etc.
you will jsut have to rely ont he fact you raise you son with good standards and as a prodigal, he may realize one day what he had.
Even my pastor deals with this same issue. He raised both his kids up in church, etc and at this moment neither of his kids want anything to do with church, I think his son even got busted from stealing or embezzelment at his job. He just has pray eeryday and have faith that God his watching over them and someday, they will return.

Sorry for the sermon

No need to be sorry. It's a good thing.

Sometimes you can't tell anyone anything. A friend asked me to listen to his jeep and see where a noise was coming from. It was knocking while the clutch was no pressed in. Told him he needed to take it to a transmission shop because I thought it was a bearing going out in the trans. After driving it 6 months later after getting in from off the road, the trans locked up in the middle of the road.

I keep an eye out for four kids that have a rough way to go sometimes. All by the same parents and very young. The 3rd born (boy) has a temper. Wants everything and do everything his way or no way. All four have been raised the same.

my wife died last year on Christmas day, I'm still in shock

40standard

Any loss in the family is bad. When it is your wife it has to be extremely hard.
I pray that you find peace in these hard times.
Oldman
I hope and pray that your boy finds his way to a man without the hard lessons of life.
I'm sure he will. Sometimes sitting in the passenger seat is the hardest thing to do.

40standard wrote:my wife died last year on Christmas day, I'm still in shock

Sorry to hear this brother. That got to be rough. We just never know what we are in for and sometime including myself let small issues get to me when in real life I have it really good. Loosing any of my family would be beyond what I fear I could handle.

Too all that's on or in the club MERRY CHRISTMAS an GOD BLESS an HAPPY NEW YEAR be safe guys......